15 Graceful Ways To Say No

I too have trouble saying no and keeping my off time for myself, family, and close friends. This was a great article that reminded me it okay to say no. Great suggestions. http://www.onsimplicity.net/2009/02/15-graceful-ways-to-say-no/

While saying yes can take us down some wonderful roads, there’s also a ton of value in saying no. We’re only given a certain amount of hours in our lives; do you really want to give yours away so easily? If you don’t have time to commit to a new project, complete a favor, or serve on another committee, it’s a good idea to just say no.

The problem comes when saying no will put you in an awkward situation. Maybe you feel bad turning down the invitation to a coworker’s bridal shower or you’re worried that saying no to your cubicle buddy will cost you opportunities down the line. What you need in your back pocket is a way to say no gracefully—and that’s just what I’ve got for you today. Consider them “Get out of Jail Free” cards for grown-ups.

For requests in the workplace:
“I’m sorry, but I just have a lot of other responsibilities on my plate. I really can’t give that project the attention it deserves.”

“I love your ideas, and I know a few people who might be great matches for your project.”

“You know, this isn’t really my area of expertise, but I know a few great resources. Let me write them down for you.”

“I’d love to help, but I’m on a strict deadline for the next few days. Let me know if there’s any way I can help another time.”

“I’d love to come to your [creepy after-hours direct marketing] party, but I’m babysitting for a friend that evening.” (I highly recommend brainstorming a few truthful excuses as to why you wouldn’t be able to go: make plans to call your mom, to catch up with an old friend, or to finally do whatever task it is that you’ve been putting off.)

“I’m sorry, but as a general rule I don’t participate in [insert activity or favor here]. If there’s another way I can help, let me know.”

For a friend’s event you can’t attend:
“I’m busy that afternoon. Why don’t you and I get together for brunch next week instead?”

“I wish I could come, but I’ve got a family thing I can’t back out of. I hope everyone has a great time.”

“Thanks for thinking of me! That evening isn’t good for me, but I’d love to come another time.” (Remember, only say “another time” if you really mean it–otherwise, you’re wasting the other person’s time.)

“No, I won’t be able to make it, but please let me know how it goes.”

“I really need some downtime, so I’ll have to pass. Email me a picture if you can and tell everyone ‘hi’ for me.”

When you’d rather have a root canal:
“My child/dog/cat has severe diarrhea, so I really have to get home. Thanks for the invite, though!”

“I have to apologize. I think I’ve got the beginnings of a migraine, so I’d better lay low tonight. I hope you have a great time!”

Or, try the Scarlett O’Hara option: “Why that sounds lovely! You will tell me how it went, won’t you? You’re such a doll!” Then book it out of there—fast!

And here’s the nuclear option. If someone really won’t take no for an answer for a non-work hours event, this should get them to let it go: “I’m sorry but I’ll be all tied up then. That’s bondage night at my house. “

If you’d like more good reasons to say no, check out Avani Mehta’s post, Saying No—And Feeling Good About It.