Six Conversational Habits to Ditch Today

On Simplicity website http://www.onsimplicity.net/2009/04/six-conversational-habits-to-ditch-today/ I found this blog on conversational no-no's. I like the author found myself guilty of all of these habits that I will work on recognizing and letting them go by the wayside.

There’s something to be said for slow and steady progress… And there’s something to be said for strong, decisive, sweeping action. When it comes to bad, self-defeating habits, there’s no time like today to drop ‘em like they’re hot. I’ve been more aware lately of the annoying conversational habits of other people. Worse than that, I’ve then been noticing myself repeating those things. Cutting out these nasty habits make it simpler to get to the heart of communication, so why not start today?

Seeking Attention by Complaining About Your Life
I spoke to someone yesterday who all but refused to talk about the positive aspects of their life. After listening to their troubles, I asked about some of the cool projects they have going on. Within two sentences, they were back to complaining about pretty trivial things. We all need to share our troubles with friends (or strangers) from time to time, but don’t fall into the habit of turning conversations into your own personal dumping ground 100 percent of the time. It’s an easy way to get attention, but it’s a poor way to view your life.

Throwing off Compliments with Self-Effacing Remarks
It’s okay to say “thank you” when you’re complimented. By making a self-effacing comment, you nearly force the other person to repeat their compliment. Not gracious. Saying thank you isn’t snobby, like you’re admitting that you think you’re just grand, it’s simply courteous. Besides, you earned it. Saying “thanks” for a compliment reminds that you’re responsible for a lot of the good things in your life.

Fishing for Compliments
“Oh, I look terrible today.” “I just threw it together at the last minute.” “I’m really not good at things like this!” Please. Stop. Now.

Cutting People off Mid-Sentence
The only time this is okay is when you’re in an intense brainstorming session. Or you’ve got an urgent situation. Or you haven’t seen your best friend in months. Okay, so this habit is kind of elastic, but you get the gist. Most of the time, interrupting just means that you’re missing the best parts of the conversation. Plus, you’re showing your chat partner that you value your own thoughts over theirs. (P.S.: I am totally guilty of this one! This is the habit that will be hardest to break for me.)

Double-tasking While You Chat
If you’re talking to someone, talk to them. Don’t browse blogs, don’t jot your to-do list, and please don’t eat while you’re on the phone. People can tell. And it pisses them off. If you don’t have the time to talk, be honest and find another time or cut it short.

Focusing on Your Inner Monologue Instead of the Dialogue in Front of You
“Holy crap! That’s a great idea. Wow. What can I say that will sound smart and clever? I really hope they think I’m intelligent. I could touch on symbolism or make a reference to post-modernism. Wait–what did they just ask me?” Stay focused on the other person’s words and points. People rarely mind when you say, “Hmm. Let me think about that for a second.” Quite the opposite, since it shows that you’re taking the conversation seriously. If you compose your answers while someone else is speaking, you’re really only having half a conversation.

Again, I’m guilty of every single one of these.